Walter Benjamin <Moscow Diary>

If you ask me who my favorite writer is, I can say without doubt that he is Walter Benjamin. I can go so far as to say that he is a writer impossible to compare with anything but itself. It is not because of his talent or ability on academic achievements, but because of the sensibilities to be able to explain and analyze me. Benjamin has been my savior in shining armor when I had a hard time.

The office, I had been working and would be remained alone at night, had been calm. I had opened this book; I had only been underway a few minutes, reading down this book with a little curiosity, when I realized that I'll remember him for a long time; Moscow Diary made me feel ill at ease. It was "bitter and depressing" as Scholem refers to it, and a veritable allegory of being anguished.

This diary of Walter Benjamin, the German literary critic, philosopher and thinker, covers two months in the winter of 1926-1927. Within that period of time he was in Moscow and the primary reason staying there was because of his affection for Asja Lacis as far as I know; I think that there is no telling about this diary if the name of Asja Lacis is taken off in the book. Benjamin's diary is also the account of his gloomy love with her: cheery, fancy-free, intellectual, on the other hand elusive and aggressive. The failed romance. No thanks to Benjamin, I had learnt a lesson I should watch out for from any connection between two. However, I doubt I can really avoid such a confused situation. Mixed feelings set in.

As a matter of fact, words can't express lucidly how I felt it. I shall only say like this; I had closed the book, very tired, and very likely, sad.